Posted by
t.m. vecchio on Monday, December 01, 2008 5:06:08 AM
Before I begin, even if I already have, I am tired and sick and flabbergasted that some of my much beloved bloggeries have been flagged (and, I guess, deleted) as offensive. I thought that, if anything, they were rather defensive. Offensive to whom? A fly caught in the spider's web? This is just another example of a bad example. But I won't be silenced even if my mouth gets erased.
The title of this bloggery is clearly entitled in such a way that even the illiterati can read it. "The Big Red and the Big Green" are, of course, code words, ones that I am forced to use to get my message (although not quite in a bottle) out. So who or what is this Big Red? And how about this Big Green? Well, I don't know, but I'm a going to do some explaining right here and now, because, if I don't, why, there's going to be a lot more explaining to do. And nobody wants that, not even nobody, even if that nobody is a somebody.
Now since the Big Red is older, and because age generally comes before beauty--although I make no aesthetic judgments here--we'll start with the Big Red (even though "R" follows "G," "C" precedes "D"). Now the Big Red has a proper name, I'm sure, but I can't reveal it here. However, I cannot conceal the Big Red's initials. They happen to be AHC, and that does not stand for "Area Hourly Coverage," at least I don't think, because according to moderately paid sources, AHC entered the world either in December of 1963 or, perhaps, a little earlier, like in December of 1961. Please note that JFK was President in December of 1961; LBJ was President in December of 1963.
Now this AHC is allegedly a #1 New York Times bestselling authoress. Therefore she authoresses books, but how many I don't know or can't count. In the back of one her more recent books there appears a section called Notes. I think that's highly significant.
With regard to the Big Green, however, we apparently have a different set of numbers and initials. According to lowly placed sources, those initials are LAI, and that unlikely stands for "Land Above Indices," although verification is still pending. The information we are receiving regarding the month and year of live birth for LAI happens to be roughly June of 1964. LBJ was still President during that time, and he would be for something like four more years. Now like AHC, LAI is also (but not only) an authoress, but whether she is a #1 bestselling one is a matter of dispute. Yet LAI is something more, as in something in addition to, just being an authoress. LAI is also a "nationally syndicated radio talk show hostess," which is perhaps something like a "nationally predicated radio talk show hostess."
It is now time in our inquiry--and this is, if nothing else, an inquiry concerning human understanding--to decipher what, if anything, the Big Red and the Big Green stand for. Granted, they may very well sit for things, jump for things and maybe even skip for things, but they ought not do such things until they have learned to properly stand (and stand firm) for at least one true thing. Although it is a most wild but not weird guess, I am going to state uncategorically that the Big Red has something to do with a certain institutution of so-called higher learning, one that is located in New York State (and not New York City). Let this school, if that is what it is, be located in Ithaca, New York. Well, what located in Ithaca? Why, among other things, I'm fairly sure, Cornell University, and such a university ought to stand for something, shouldn't it? But what of the Big Green? I assert pensively that the Big Green has something to do with a certain institution of so-called higher learning and this particular institution may very well be located in New Hampshire, perhaps Hanover to be more exact. But what in the lower forty-eight is located in Hanover, New Hampshire? Why, it could be Dartmouth College. And if one Ivy League school can stand for something, well, two Ivy League schools can possibly stand for even more. No? No, yes
END OF PART I